Thursday, December 29, 2011

Episode 52: Not So Glad He Ate Her...

Somewhere in Her consciousness, Iryien detected a dying plea. Someone - or some thing - had called out to her in the throes of mortal peril. A living being, a being with a soul and a heart that yearned for love needed Her, and needed Her now. She looked down at the Temple Manicurist, Lobella, and asked how long it would be until the freshly-applied nail lacquer had fully dried.

"Just another minute or two, my most radiant Lady."

Well, whoever it was, Iryien thought, I'm sure they can hold on for another few minutes...

Responding to the plaintiff cries of a dying Aramis, Iryien cuts short her tour of the Temple of the Divine Shoulder Blaster and materializes on Athas.

Discovers death and administers healing.

Creates a protective sphere.

Tiamat (reunited) rises up and our after hearing worms and pteradactyls.

Big boom, and Tiamat is exploded.

Grog the Slavemaster informs them of their Fate.

Some win, some lose.

Grog is Seduced.

Iryien discovers the dragon king.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Episode 51: "Muad'dib, I Don't Think We're On Arrakis Anymore..."

Typically, a 30th-level Bucknard's One Way Portal is not only reliable, but is also one of the safest means of travel in the multiverse. Need to get from Point A•ß{sub}7 to Point π•ø∑/B? This little door through Time and Space is the way to go...

However, if you mistreat it, malign it, or abuse it with dragon's breath at any time and it tends to get cranky. Irritable. Pre-sentient, even.

And Gods forgive anyone who, as it's Singular Focus, tries to force their way through it without the proper authorization spells, enchantment codes or retinal keys.

Why, I've heard of 'Buckies' peering into the minds of such inconsiderate travelers and, rooting around for sources of perpetual annoyance, finding out where to send them so as to put the biggest possible cosmic boot straight up their backsides.

Yeah, you don't want to go and piss off a portal. Especially when you have so many enemies.

And marginal survival skills.

And no way to get home.

Monday, December 5, 2011


From the Desk of Ingnatious Prim, Esq.

Senior Reprobate, First Class

The Naugahyde Cotillion

To the emmissaries of the following dieties:



____ ______________ (Long May His Beard Reign)


_ __ ___ The Ever Mightie


Report 3, Code 2-2 A, supplemental.

You must admit, that was a possibility.

A terrifically small, one, I admit, but I do believe the Naugahyde Cotillion warned you of such an outcome when You(s) elected to recruit this group in the first place.

First of all, ____, (now Koresh) is clearly unstable. It would not surprise me in the least to learn that he has somewhere in his lineage one (or more! Dare we think it?) ancestor with Chaosblood. Had we been given just a little more time we could have looked into the matter and potentially avoided a catastrophe. The fact that ___(Dolorous) is his sister makes me think, in retrospect, that Your Eminences should use what Powers you have at your disposal and bring this experiment to a swift end.

To whit: Consecutive, consecutive, mind you! instance where the Pick of Extreme Digging has ruptured the T/sC. HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN??? There are no recorded instances of this happening more than once, to the same group of individuals, IN THE SAME MILLENIUM!

Also, The Enigma and Stonehenge gather power too quickly, and in different directions. The Cotillion can understand the creation of a satellite cosmos - be it Chaotic or Lawful - but the mix of attitudes and ethoses in this group are leading to, in the estimation of the Cotillion, complete and utter ruin. We beseech thee to at least consider eliminating one or two of the more abberant members in order to avoid creating any more Chaos than there already is.

The Cotillion also would like to also call into question the wisdom of letting The Five near Your Most Holy Selves, even for one minute. Not only is it becoming increasingly apparent that no one can predict what will happen in their presence, but now that some of their number have tasted the power You have accorded them, we fear that they might start to get Ideas...

We beseech You - please stop this madness before it consumes everything: You, me, the Desk, the Cotillion, the multiverse. No good can possibly come from allowing this charade to continue.