Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
"We can all get in through this side window," he told the Holth and the Death Commandos. "Follow me."
They hurried over to the side of the temple and listened. The piteous moans of burned and glass-riddled acolytes had died down considerably. Saladin went in.
Li'l Sauron was next, followed by Object. Holth did not come next. Neither did Velva. The fact that Aaa'ooo'aaa failed to bring up the rear struck Saladin as particularly annoying. Demanding answers, he got a shrug from Li'l Sauron and a series of whines and clicks from Object. Not reassuring.
The three crept towards the back of the temple. Soft, lilting feminine voices could be heard debating some topic in Muralian. Saladin ears pricked up, while other parts of him grew ears. Gripping his club and ready for battle, he sprung around the painted screen that sectioned off the back of the temple to find... no one.
All that was there was an evilly bubbling throne on a gem-encrusted base, five stained glass windows depicting the 4 elements, the downfall of humanity and a pregnant Iryien, and a hole through the Earth window that was about the size of a berserking gnome. the feminine voices came from without.
Suddenly, in a fit of inspired madness that caused the DM to take a heavier-than-usual pull on his maple porter, Saladin leaped through the bottom of the center stained glass window, only to land with a resounding thud on top of...
The slowly-thawing corpses of the two guards had been set up in the crypt. "The next person who enters therein will get surely stain themselves," thought Xeno.
"Next time we split up, I go with Xoe," thought Kobayashi.
The two then headed up the hallway to an intersection. After some debate, the two decided that the passage ahead, which was wide and well-lit, could only lead to trouble, and instead chose to turn down a dark side corridor, redolent with sinister echoes and paved top to bottom with black obsidian.
"Next time we split up, I go with Xoe," thought Kobayashi.
Sure enough, they soon came to a dark and sinister chamber. So dark and so sinister, it sucked the light out of Xeno's light spell.
"Perhaps other way is better?" hazarded Kobayashi.
On cue, other way started to go boom, boom, boom with the sound of drums.
"Perhaps not," sighed Xeno. "I think we should- SWEET PICKLED EGGS WHAT'S THAT?"
Quick as a flash, Xeno's Cube of Force was activated, and just beyond it's protective walls, two vile, stinky undead appeared from within the chamber. The cube's walls seemed to keep them out. But as the drum section grew louder (and was soon joined by a cacophonous brass section) the duo decided that these two fiends were the lesser of two evils.
Kobayashi readied his Staff of Thunder and Lightning, aiming it into the chamber and over the heads of the two slavering fiends. He then discharged what would have been, outdoors, a very loud thunderclap...
Inside the small obsidian-lined chamber, however, it was destructively, titanically and... what was the term?
Oh, yes. It was ear-shatteringly loud.
While the cube protected the two from the bone-stripping cloud of supersonic pulverized obsidian, it did knock them flat on their asses. Lying there, stunned, Kobayashi thought of retiring from adventuring and becoming Port Harbor's official Drunk Munk.
Xeno wondered why everything had gone so quiet.
As he tilted his head back to see the five figures hurrying towards him (upside-down, from his point of view) he wondered if they were wearing slippers, for how else could they travel so noiselessly down this hallway?
Rough hands pulled him silently to his feet, them noiselessly lifted him up to face a woman wearing dark robes. She was mouthing words at him in a very agitated manner... Was she expecting him to read lips? Why wasn't she making any sound? Why does she look sort of familiar?
As she turned her attentions to Kobayashi, Xeno's memory started to clear... Iryien! She's come here to take us out of here! Yes, she's now leading us away from here, down this hallway, around a corner, up a little slopey bit here, yes, yes...up to this weird doorway and being thrown in - what the Hades? Why are we being tossed in here? What's up with Iryien? And how DID she manage to slam that door so silently?
Takemiya looked around the cell block. No keys hanging on a hook. Of course it couldn't be easy. But there were a couple more doors ahead...
He stopped to listen at the first. Nothing. He crept up to the second, and barely audible above the fish-slapping in the adjacent cell, he thought he could hear a high-pitched wooden sound.
He tried the door. Unlocked. He slowly pushed the door open and peered into the room...
A shabbily appointed room contained dirty dishes, piles of laundry and some poor creature's attempt at 'decorating'. Homel figurines and a painting by Thimmaus Kink-aid adorned what looked to be (and smelled to be) a studio apartment. In the middle of the room, spinning wool on a large wooden wheel, was Iryien.
"Iryien!" Takemiya whispered in her ear. Quick as a flash, Iryien picked up a wooden spindle and wheeled it about her head. Only Takemiya's incredible monkish training prevented him from losing an invisible eye.
"Who's there?!?" Wild-eyed and shaken, Iryien looked disheveled and a bit worn. Her plain gingham dress looked ancient and her hair had a sheen of what looked like chicken grease.
"It is me, Takemiya! I've found Longbottom! Do you know where the keys are kept?"
Iryien still held the spindle high and with a threatening air, turning to and fro in an attempt to keep the disembodied voice at bay.
"Longbottom? That was so long ago... Keys? What keys? How did you get into my cottage?" Takemiya looked around the room. He'd never have used the term "cottage" to describe what he saw.
Iryien was obviously under some sort of delusion, probably magical in nature.
He returned to the hallway outside. The imp was still lazily thudding away. Perhaps this would shake things up... Takemiya detached his floating head and rammed it into the cell door.
The bars clanged, but did not break. The imp disappeared with a POP! And he could now hear footsteps running towards him, from the direction of the angry priestess...
"Next time we split up, I go with Xoe," thought Takemiya.
Monday, November 22, 2010
"Be silent!" he hissed. "Not sure where we are, but I have feeling it not good."
Xeno looked around the dim room. Low niches in the wall, the damp smell of decay, what looked to be a dim outline of a skeleton...
"Oh, it's just a crypt." Xeno rolled free and examined the situation. 18 alcoves, all occupied. One door out. And no window from whence they came. Some weird sort of teleportation was involved, and he didn't like it.
Kobayashi found one of the interred was wearing a robe embroidered with yellow triangles. After some lengthy debate on the Nature of Grave Robbing, the Usefulness of Disguise in an Enemy Encampment and the likelihood of the corpse being infected with some sort of flesh-eating spores, one of them (I'm not saying who) decided to heave the corpse onto the floor in order to strip it of its vestments.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
"Ah, well if you could help me, perhapsss I can exsssplain."
Xoe hopped into the room, albiet cautiously. The figure gestured towards Ben.
"I recognissse your friend, but he isss much changed. I do not think he will be helpful right now." With a wave of his hand, Ben was trapped behind a crystalline wall. The figure assured Xoe that he was fine. He then proceeded to roll an iridescent layer of skin off of one of his fingers and place it into the large trunk behind him before asking Xoe to assist him.
She noticed 4 smaller chests inside the larger one - each with a curious hexagonal keyhole in the top. One chest still had a key in it - a crystalline key, amber in color and triangular in shape. The lizard wizard had her remove the key and place it in a pouch he was wearing. He then had her help him drag the large chest into a curtained alcove. The curtain then shimmered - and Xoe realized she wasn't in Kansas anymore...
Meanwhile, Kobayashi emerged from his 'ordeal', none the worse for wear, if not a little confused. As Saladin and Xeno tried to decide where to head next, angry female monks could be heard in the main body of the temple. Saladin melded with stone and headed out to round up the Death Commandos. Xeno and Kobayashi moved quickly to an alcove in the rear of the temple where they found a throne, mounted on a gem-encrusted base. The body of the throne seemed to be made of a clear, crystalline material that was filled with a bubbling fluid. Two flaming sconces topped off the throne.
Xeno quickly scanned the alcove and found that the only way out lay through one of the five stained-glass windows at the back. Looking for something to break out a pane of glass, he found a golden censer and immediately picked it up. "Does it feel evil?" he asked himself.
The next thing Kobayashi knew, an enraged, bespittled gnome was hurling the censer then himself through the first window. Kobayashi followed suit in order to flee the acolytes who were now entering the back of the temple...
Somewhere deep underground, Takemiya sat up and scanned the hallway. Exits in both directions, but as he scanned around with the Helm of Telepathy, he found one direction alone led towards Longbottom, and that's the way he went. A door barred his way, and as he snuck up to it, he could hear voices, low and argumentative...
...then the floor gave way and he fell with a thud.
The pit trap had been clever, and quite luckily, not designed to maim. Bruised and flustered, Takemiya looked up into tines of two very long and very pointy tridents.
"Hey! Who're you? And what you doin' down 'ere? You're not even wearin' the right robes!"
Ah, Takemiya thought. First level guards, the staple of every great dungeon crawl.
"Many apologies. I have become lost whilst looking for most elusive exit. I shall await the arrival of your superior, and I assure you she shall not be in felicitous mood."
"Oi, whas he sayin' Karl?"
"Dunno, Jordj. Some sort of foreigner, I reckon. You better go get the Mistress. She ain't gonna be happy when she finds him 'ere."
One guard took off to fetch the Mistress while the remaining guard lit up a cigarette and relaxed in the door frame that overlooked the pit. Takemiya then detatched his head and sent it upwards to engage the guard in one of the more unfortunate bits of hand-to-head combat he'd experienced in his career. This allowed Takemiya's body to invisibly clamber up the walls of the pit and nimbly dump the guard into the pit. He then turned to the door at the back of the guardroom and, homing in on Longbottom's voice, dove deeper into the dungeon.
The wizard lizard pulled the curtain aside, revealing a different room entirely. A great storehouse of art objects were here, including one statue that seemed to be concealing an assassin. As the wizard backed into the room, dragging the chest, Xoe pushed from behind (keeping low, behind the chest) and kept one eye on the lurker. As he pulled the chest into the room the wizard thanked Xoe for her help, then the curtain fell back in place. Xoe heard the familiar chink-THUD of a crossbow bolt hitting home. The wizard gasped, uttered some famous last words, then ~
Xoe was back in the room with Ben. The wall was gone, and he was white with worry.
"Do you have any idea who that is you were with?" he gasped.
"Who that was, you mean. I believe he just expired." Xoe explained what she had seen and heard in the alcove below, then stopped as the facts marched by for her. Wizard. Killed. Painting. Past. Lizard...
"Yes. I believe you just witnessed the death of Loca'Luongo. And, I might add, you may have contributed to it indirectly having previously discharged his protection spell with your earlier attempt at a backstab."
"And now that we find ourselves back in the past, the only way we can reunite with the others is to either attempt a risky, draining attempt at time travel or try and head out the way we came in..."
Xoe looked at the window.
"Let's roll," she said, as she clambered up the wall...
Monday, November 15, 2010
Cold, damp and thoroughly annoyed, Xeno decided he’d had enough. Spying a window to the back of the temple, he decided to sneak in. Aaa’ooo’aaa had been dispatched to the top of the building to see what he could see, so Xeno took advantage of the chaos and clambered up and into…
A small, dark room.
He could see some sort of tabletop. He hopped down onto it and found himself tumbling amongst a number of objects. Fortunately for him, they seemed to be mostly made of rubber, so no suspicious noises were made to alert and of the guards. He managed to make his way to the floor, and after tripping over a few more rubbery items, he finally cast a light spell to see exactly what it was that had been giving him so much trouble.
It looked like the Spanish Inquisition had set up a special branch for bachelorette parties in here. Xeno didn’t know much about medieval rubber manufacture and molding, but he had a pretty good idea that this was a real good sampling of some of the best that the trade’s most clever and devious minds had to offer, and quite frankly it gave him the willies. LOTS of willies, to be exact.
He quickly slipped through the door opposite and into a large room containing Saladin, an large eel and a slowly apparating Takemiya.
“Don’t open that door.” Takemiya’s voice was cold, clear and full of authority. It froze Saladin with his hand on the knob.
“But someone sounds like they’re in pain! It could be Kobayashi! Oh, hi Xeno.”
Xeno shut the door behind him and eyed the room, and his eyes stopped on a pair of large, glinty eyes.
“Are those gems?” he asked, pointing to the statue’s large, green peepers.
“Yes,” sighed Takemiya wearily. “Those are indeed emeralds the size of my fist, and that is indeed Kobayashi,” he turned to face Saladin again, “but I can tell you that while he is indeed ‘in’ something, it is most definitely not pain.”
It's called 'Monkey Escapes Naughty Treehouse', actually, he thought to himself. And the lad's quite good at it.
“Still, don’t you think we should help him?” Saladin cried. “Who knows what’s going on in there? Xeno, should you really be climbing up there?” He was halfway up the eel’s head before Takemiya turned to gaze into the pool of black water.
“Xeno, shouldn’t you be detecting traps or something before you go prying gems from a statue’s eyes?” He thought he could see something in the water. The outline of a door.
“That’s Xoe. She’s the thief. I’m more of a sticky, stabby kind of guy.” Pling! The statue’s right eye popped out of its socket and into Xeno’s hand. He quickly pocketed it and moved over to the other eye and started prying it out with his knife.
Yes, thought Takemiya, there is a door at the bottom of the pool. A small trapdoor about the size of a-
Suddenly, Takemiya was sucked down, down, down into the noise and the black. Falling faster and faster he felt exploded apart only to be rammed back together again and find himself lying heaving and panting on the bottom of a passage floor. Water oozed out from his clothes. He could see an old, ancient stone ceiling above him, but he heard nothing but the trickle of water from his boots. He closed his eyes and turned on his telepathy, searching for minds that could tell him where he was.
He found one.
It was small, and it was weak, and it repeated over and over:
“My name is Ryan Longbottom. My name… is Ryan… Longbottom…”
Perhaps he was on the right track, after all.
“Would you like to choose two opponents, or shall I choose for you?”
Kobayashi stuttered, then spluttered. He’d never seen so many… bosoms before.
“Ah, you may choose, ah, please.”
With an almost imperceptable nod, the Madam singled out two girls, and each sprung to the mat with surprising quickness.
Saladin, in raven form, sat on Takemiya’s shoulder and counted. 14 girls. Two monks. These guys BETTER be good, he thought…
“Be… careful,” Takemiya’s voice echoed inside Kobayashi’s head. He was glad that his master had the ability to communicate with him like this. These girls made him nervous for many reasons; their glistening skin, their supple limbs and their deadly quickness. How would he perform? Could he defeat them both? Why had their arrival been expected? Too many questions, and not enough time for answers. He was led onto the mat. The two girls, minimally clad, took their guard…
Outside in the night, Xeno was getting impatient. He was listening for a signal from Takemiya, but for now, all was silent. He decided that a closer look was warranted. With a whisper, Xeno’ s shape morphed into that of the hedge that surrounded the temple. Slowly and carefully, Xeno crept towards the side entrance to the temple.
The martial arts practice had come to an end, and a bare chested, muscular male had come to the temple door and held it open for the young ladies as they reentered the temple. As the last girl went inside, the man produced a cigarette, lit it, and casually smoked it as he leaned against the open door. Xeno could see the columns and hanging banners of the inner temple, but little else. He was about to move in for a closer look when he felt a presence behind him, then felt a warmth running down the back of his leg.
“STOP THAT!” he hissed at Aaa’ooo’aaa, the vulturesque Death Commando. Aaa let out a short, sharp squawk, and only after a frantic bout of aquatic inaccurracy did he manage to eventually stop what he was doing. “Do you HAVE to do that HERE, on ME????” Xeno was livid. And quite damp.
“SQUAA! Sorry, mon,” croaked the commando. “SQUAA! Why you hidin’ here, lookin’ like a boosh?”
Xeno shook his foot with as much irritability he could muster. “It’s called being incognito. You should look it up sometime.” Xeno turned back to the temple. The man had finished his smoke, and was turning to go inside. Xeno moved as quickly as he dared to get a look inside the temple before the door closed, but saw nothing. “Takemiya!” he growled in his head, “What’s going on in there???”
Kobayashi was now facing the two girls, and with a clap of the Matron’s hands, they pounced…
There were hands and feet raining from every direction. Kobayashi used all his training and skill to avid most of them. They seemed trained to fight as a team, one appearing where the other had just been, never letting him have a moment to recover. Kick, dodge, block, dodge, punch, dodge, dodge. He didn’t know how long he could keep it up.
He felt a great pain in his side, as all the muscles down his left side seemed to explode. He stifled a cry, but the next moment the Matron clapped her hands and yelled “Hai!” the girls stopped immediately, and stood still, arms raised, bosoms heaving.
“You friend is hurt,” she said. “He needs attending. Ladies, take him to a healing room and make him whole again.” The two girls took Kobayashi by the arms and led him to the back of the temple. As they exited through a door at the back, the Matron turned to Takemiya. “I am sorry your friend was injured. I hope you prove a more virile specimen.”
Kobayashi was led to the mat, and as he stepped onto the woven surface, Saladin suddenly morphed back into human form and appeared next to him. He had had enough.
“I'VE HAD ENOUGH!” he cried, and his bone staff appeared in his hand. Suddenly, every girl leaped to the ready, poised to strike.
Takemiya heard Xeno’s plaintiff cries in his head. He linked to Xeno’s mind at the very edge of his telepathic range and said “We have been seperated. We are outnumbered by very capable female combatants. They seem to be interested in us for nefarious reasons. I think a distraction would be in order.’
As soon as he thought those words, he regretted them, but could not take them back. He counted to five, about as long as he figure it would take Xeno to point his finger skyward, and silently said a word of prayer…
“Please don’t roll a one. This place is mostly wood and straw.”
Almost on cue, the night turned to day outside the temple. Windows exploded inwards, hot molten glass strafed the girls, and chaos ensued.
"I get what I ask for," Takemiya said to himself ruefully as he and Saladin scrambled to the back of the temple, stepping over wounded women and avoiding the small fires that were now burning everywhere in the temple. They came to a door in the back wall and entered quickly, hoping to find Kobayashi before anything bad could happen to him...
Friday, November 5, 2010
An uber-paranoid Xeno began searching the all corners of Marguerite's sitting room until she turned up and immediately put his mind (and body) to rest. As he snoozed fitfully in the corner, the others learned that Pomegranate Shen comes from a family who prides itself on its talent for haunting. Both Pomegranate's aunt and grandmother successfully drove their murderers to insanity-riddled deaths, and it looked so far like Pomegranate had some of the old family skills. Other than some propitiative act on Xeno's part towards his ghostly companion, Marguerite seemed to think that finding Pomegranate's sister, Bronwyn, and convincing her to call off the vendetta was the party's next best hope. Good thing they were already on their way to the Temple of Perpetual Dawn...
The plan was made and the crew ascended Eldritch Mountain. The Guidos, the Death Commandos and Xeno staked out the perimeter of the temple, mingling with the delightful hedge that circumnavigated the temple grounds. Xeno and Ben took advantage of some fortuitous shadows and made their way to a window towards the back of the temple. Takemiya and Kobayashi, along with Saladin in raven form, made their way to the temple gates under the guise of being sent to the temple by a vision.
They were greeted, however, by a matron of the temple who seemed to be expecting them. She and her lamp-bearing acolytes led them past the dozen or so sweat-bedewed young women practicing a peculiar blend of tai-chi and judo on the temple grounds. The matron led them inside to a large, square mat surrounded by pillows. Another group of limber females was sparring inside, and with a clap from the matron, the young ladies, sheer garments still clinging to their heaving bosoms, took their places on the cushions.
Kobayashi leaned close to the masked form of Takemiya and whispered, "I've got a bad feeling about this."
Meanwhile, Xoe had gained entrance to the temple through the side window, but after hoisting Ben up through the window, he partially collapsed with what looked like extreme dizziness. "I'll be OK," he assured Xoe. "You wouldn't happen to have any mustard seed on you, would you?" After learning that she did not, Ben patted down his coat. "I have some on me somewhere - you look around while I look for it."
Xoe crept around the long, dark room, finding a trunk full of heavy objects wrapped in plush velvet bags, some ancient and classy heraldic flags and a set of schmancy polearms. But a muffled explosion interrupted her search, and soon after a figure entered the room and made its way to a large trunk at the back of the room. Tall, wizardly and smoking slightly, a scaly humanoid hurried into the room and threw open a chest at the back, hurriedly tinkling around the contents. Xoe, naturally, snuck up behind him and tried to backstab him - only to find herself hurtling backwards due to a powerfully explosive defensive spell. Through the wall she flew, landing on her back in what looked like a museum. Sculptures, abs-reliefs and paintings covered the walls - including a VERY familiar painting of an old, decrepit-looking man on a tiny canvas, say, about big enough to fit into a theif's pouch.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Saladin closed his eyes and let the Third Eye of his consciousness open. His gaze wandered across the waters to Rosencrantz and Chateau Moebius. Somewhere in the distance he could hear what sounded like the rattle of ancient bones.
Then he saw her.
A young girl, long black hair, lithe of limb. She's laughing as she dances circles around Xeno. He lies on a cold, marble floor - an elegant pattern of flagstones beneath his trembling, curled-up body. The girl stops and leans over Xeno, bringing her lips close to his. Just before they touch, Xeno's eyes roll back in his head and a vile green foam oozes forth from his mouth. The girl flings her head back and squeals in delight. Xeno stops moving and the girl dances again. As she circles, Xeno starts trembling again. Saladin now notices Marguerite. She's standing behind Xeno and the girl, watching the dance through one, two, three cycles.
She looks up at Saladin at last and says: "A young wife fell sick and was about to die. "I love you so much," she told her husband, "I do not want to leave you. Do not go from me to any other woman. If you do, I will return as a ghost and cause you endless trouble."
Soon the wife passed away. The husband respected her last wish for the first three months, but then he met another woman and fell in love with her. They became engaged to be married.
Immediately after the engagement a ghost appeared every night to the man, blaming him for not keeping his promise. The ghost was clever too. She told him exactly what had transpired between himself and his new sweetheart. Whenever he gave his fiancee a present, the ghost would describe it in detail. She would even repeat conversations, and it so annoyed the man that he could not sleep. Someone advised him to take his problem to a Zen master who lived close to the village. At length, in despair, the poor man went to him for help.
"Your former wife became a ghost and knows everything you do, " commented the master. "Whatever you do or say, whatever you give your beloved, she knows. She must be a very wise ghost. Really you should admire such a ghost. The next time she appears, bargain with her. Tell her that she knows so much you can hide nothing from her, and that if she will answer you one question, you promise to break your engagement and remain single."
"What is the question I must ask her?" inquired the man.
The master replied: "Take a large handful of soy beans and ask her exactly how many beans you hold in your hand. If she cannot tell you, you will know that she is only a figment of your imagination and will trouble you no longer."
The next night, when the ghost appeared the man flattered her and told her that she knew everything. "Indeed," replied the ghost, "and I know you went to see that Zen master today."
"And since you know so much," demanded the man, "tell me how many beans I hold in this hand!"
There was no longer any ghost to answer the question."
Saladin shook his head and was back in the room. Everyone was staring intently at him, especially Xeno...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Everyone was healed. The ship was ready. The journey to Eldritch Mountain could begin. But first, a little swing by ‘The Floating Isle” to see if Mad Jack McMad’s tip about a sighting of the Mind Flayer ship was in order…
As Der Chelonian approached the Isle, the all-too-keen-eyed Takemiya spied a thin plume of smoke rising up from the middle of the island, between the two forested peaks. As the ship drew closer, Saladin could detect some faint background psionic static, and immediately the crew took up battle stations.
The ship took to the air for a flyover, and while the crew found a crash site, Takemiya picked up voices with his telepathic powers – voices that could see Der Mobile. Paranoia quickly took over, and the crew was soon raining white-hot death down upon the site of the crashed nautiloid.
As the smoke cleared (and infravision normalized), the inhabitants of the island revealed themselves to be the Death Commandos from the Hammer of Grapthar. Gollum, Li’l Sauron, Object, Aaa’oo’aaa, and Velva had not only survived the crash (and a ship full of illithids), but were in fact the ones who had killed of the mind flayers in the first place. Der Mobile gratefully gave the Commandos a lift and made their way to Guildenstern to rendezvous with Elof the Singing Blacksmith.
While Xeno dealt with Elof, the saw blades and a commodity to be named later, Iryien and Xoe headed up Eldritch Mountain for a little scouting mission. On the way, they found malevolent and rudely-stacked cairns marking the trail. Both felt strange, maternal urges as they climbed towards the temple. And just as Xoe had reached the rocky summit and laid her eyes on the temple for the first time, she turned to see a nude Iryien prancing about, doing some sort of interpretive dance whilst clutching a large golden carrot and smearing herself with rabbit droppings.
While this sight stunned Xoe, it was nothing when compared to the shock she felt at seeing Iryien quiver, shimmer, then disappear mid-leap. Xoe had seen enough for one scouting mission, and raced down the mountain to tell the others.
Sitting around Elof’s forge, the men folk had taken to quaffing some ale; but Xeno suddenly choked, and a well-placed Heimlich from Kobayashi shot a gallon of beer and a ninja-shaped voodoo doll out of Xeno’s esophagus. “Strange,” said everyone, but when Xeno came to, drew his swords and began cursing an unseen ghost, everyone took it as a sign of things actually being pretty normal.
The Ghost of Pomegranate Chen made a brief appearance, sucked face with (and 7 years off the life of) Xeno, then disapparated before Saladin could get a perusal through the Psionic Handbook in edgewise.
And with that, Xeno took off to the ship for a nap.
It was then agreed that Xeno should be escorted to Marguerite to see if she could unhaunt him; but alas, before they could even offload in Rosencrantz, the Ghost of Pomegranate Chen returned to slay the Harbormaster, bewilder Saladin and trick Xeno into crippling three Sulians with a blast of Crushing Despair…
So far the Mission is NOT going according to plan…
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Death deftly sidestepped the monk and slashed him across the back with his scythe. Takemiya immediately sent his helmet shooting up int the air and Death followed it, clanging his scythe off the magical metal and sending pretty amber sparks flying.
By this time, Saladin had arrived in the circle and was immediately confronted with *POP!* a Death of his own to fight. Luckily, before he could get TOO killed, Takemiya's body grew to 40 feet tall, picked up Saladin "Fay Wray-style" and started hauling him up and out of the coliseum.
Meanwhile, Helmet decided to kamikaze Death, and the dice favored him. Death #1 was cleft in twain by the speeding Helmet, each half falling to the ground on either side of the crater that had now become Helmet's new home.
Saladin manage to wrest Death #2's scythe from him and break it in half, and in a surge of self delusion made to destroy the other Death's scythe. But as Saladin struggled with the right half of Death's body as it hung onto the scythe for dear death, Saladin transformed himself into a hawk, taking Death (or 49% of him) and his scythe with him in the transformation.
The coliseum disappeared, and a rather confused and embarrassed Death #2 slipped quietly away, mumbling to himself.
Takemiya's body rejoined with Helmet while Saladin went of to be ALONE WITH HIS THOUGHTS... which frightened him more than a little.
There was a hilarious bit with a canary, but if you weren't there it doesn't really translate.
Oh, and not to be outweirded, Xoe played with The Deck.
Strange things are now afoot at the DCM. Stay tuned for...
RETURN TO ELDRITCH MOUNTAIN!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Then Takemiya pulled out The Deck.
The power of the Deck must have gotten to him, really. Why else would someone pull out what is surely The Most Dangerous Artifact in the known spheres? A surge of that magical power must've been directly responsible for him stating "I will draw four cards."
Everyone else slid back from the table as if he'd just let an ace mistakenly fall from his sleeve in a poker game with Bludgeon MacSplosion.
Euryale, the Dread Medusa.
Takemiya felt his body change on a molecular level. Weaken. Warp. Arteries hardened. Muscles stiffened. An image of a woman, snakes for hair, screamed through his mind. He wasn't sure what happened, but he was QUITE sure he didn't want to run into one of her kind in real life. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle it.
Takemiya turned over the Second Card.
He wasn't sure what made him pause. Did he have the right place? He tried to look through the door, see through Time, but for some reason....
This place was a blank spot, a nothing in his field of vision.
"INTERESTING," he thought to himself. "I'LL JUST HAVE A BIT OF A WAIT." He turned and sat on a largish stone some way up the path that led from the house. Little did he know that he was not the first Immortal to have parked his Undying Keister on that particular piece of rock.
Meanwhile, Takemiya turned over the Third card, the idiot.
Um, I mean, The Idiot. The card.
Takemiya suddenly felt the strange urge to do all sorts of things. Dumb things. Silly things. He couldn't say why, but he just felt like doing the next thing that popped into his mind...
Like drawing another card.
While everyone debated what they were going to do next, Xeno scooped up the Deck. "Well, looks like he won't be needing this anymore," and he stowed it away. He then turned towards the Helm of Telepathy, where it was sitting on the old stuffed penguijn that had, for some reason, come to be in the office. He had what would later, in the history books (at least the ones that weren't used to line penguijn cages), be called a Moment of Inspiration.
He took the rather large and unwieldy helm and with an embarassed whisper asked Saladin for a boost. The bewildered giant dwarf picked the gnome up under the arms and hoisted him up towards the amber globe.
Xeno carefully placed the Helm over the globe and slowly, slooowly loosened his grip on it.
The Helm stayed there, floating.
Then, just as slowly, just as carefully, the helm turned - slowly and silently - in midair, until it was facing the dangling gnome. It then did something that it had never done before in all of the the seven hundred and fifty three years of its existance:
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Kobayashi shifts his hands inside the massive chest cavity, trying to stem the flow of blood. Left coronary artery, left anterior descending artery, vena cava... all were being stoppered by one of Kobayashi's nine remaining digits. Bless the gods, he thought to himself, that the Harmonious Bags of Wind hadn't been perforated. He hadn't the fingers to spare, and he thought he could at least keep him from bleeding to death until the Hammer of Grapthar's Medicus could relieve him.
Suddenly, Saladin coughed, and a great spray of blood showered Kobayashi with bad news. The Bags had indeed been breached, only a million times over with wounds too small to see...
Saladin opened his eyes, and Kobayashi saw madness there. His features shifted, and his internal organs started to shift and move rapidly, shrinking away from Kobayashi's hands as the chest cavity closed up like an angry red clam. The monk was just able to pull his hands away in time to avoid having them sealed inside what now appeared to be a sullen, golden-haired badger. The badger regarded him for a moment with a look akin to disdain before its features shifted again and grew to the size and likeness of Saladin once more. The sucking chest wound was gone, but the look of madness remained.
"Medicine..." he gasped, and stumbled off to the hatchway thet led below decks.
Saladin, who was being mentally dominated by the mind flayers, knocked Takemiya off the helm in order to break off pursuit.
Above decks, a giant white worm was dispatched to further harass the pursuers. Xeno and Xoe did wonders for its health, however, and it soon ceased to be an issue.
Kobayashi dispatched (with a perfectly-timed 20) the Invisible Stalker that was threatening Takemiya with a messy death.
Saladin then proceeded to throw Kobayashi overboard.
This vexed Xeno, as reentering the atmosphere with a glowing monk in tow did not facilitate the greatest of chases.
The mind flayers got away....