Sunday, December 2, 2012

Episode 71: Back in the Abyss Again...

It was a simple plan, really.

Have the dwarf run with a slowly leaking keg of smoke powder towards the orc landing party. Light the trail. clear the dock.

The weird part was that it actually worked.

Now "worked" might be stretching it a bit from Ragnar's point of view, but as he sailed into the harbor, tail on fire, the sounds of screaming orcs lightened his heart a bit. And after a cooling plunge in the bay, Ragnar inelegantly made his way to the surface, surrounded by sizzling hunks of orc meat as they plopped into the black waters around him. Ragnar chuckled, and set his sights on the dark hulk of the black-sailed ship, sitting unmolested in the harbor. He unsheathed his great onyx axe. He harbored thoughts of molestation.

Xeno watched the sizzling scorpion of sparks eat its way towards the bay with a quiet sense of calm and rightness. Chaos was afoot, and he held the shoehorn. He turned to the guardhouse Takemiya had brought to his attention a great(ish) horde of orcs mustering below Plank Town. 

"Yes, Xeno?"
"Murderous orcs in small confined spaces..."
"...a keg of flaming smoke powder in their faces?"

The gnomes grinned evilly. Takemiya tucked himself in a corner to keep lookout. Kobayashi fled the town and headed for the hills. 

As Xoe chucked a lit powder keg over the railing of the staircase, Takemiya looked to see where it was headed and saw a trail of orcs heading up the stairs, each holding a keg of smoke powder up over their head.

Takemiya had just enough time to hurl himself through the door of the guardhouse before EVERYTHING blew up in a cross-connected network of fiery death and oblivion. A huge geyser of flame erupted up and through 'Klobar's Craft Beeres and Flagons'. Flaming pellets of superheated doom smote 'Miss Leila's Shoppe of Naughty Artifacts'. And an Old Faithful of molten magma caused 'Lobelia's Massage Parlour and Armory' to never service another tasset - but no one was left to greave.

But as Xeno watched his newly-aquired realm go up in flames, his thoughts turned to his other short-lived realm - that extraplanar one with the demons and...

They say some thoughts should not be uttered. Especially when you've had your Chaos maximized and tend to roll on the extreme ends of, say, a d30.

But as Xeno watched the night sky above Plank Town light up like 12th of Octember, his thoughts turned to what might of been... if only he'd had time... like more than a day... he would make this realm right, make THIS domain work. If he just had the chance, one more chance.... to change...

135035 _()* 
 ASD   9(9 0  {external error}           -  -                K

Now Pompey’s dead, Homer’s read, Heliogabalus lost his head,

And shade is on the brightest wing, And dust forbids the bird to sing.

Something happened.

It was as if all of Plank Town became an elevator. On the first floor, fire extinguishers, barbecue aprons, oven mitts and lighter fluid. But down, down, down below.... 632 floors below to be exact, the Demon Queen of Dragons extended a jeweled claw and tapped the glowing 'up' button.

"Play with Chaos, will they? Fuck with me, will they? Power, they do not understand. Fear, they do not understand. I will fix that, you bet your breastplate..."


Elevator to hell

Episode 70 [offline] The Exploration of Plank Town

It all went quiet. Very quiet. After the concussive chaoswave swept through Plank Town, there wasn't much in the way of opposition left.

Everyone was gone.

No frost giant, know men-at-arms, no gender-reassigned women-at-arms either. They were, to a man (or woman), gone.

This was generally greeted with enthusiasm.

The members of DCM enterprises immediately set out to explore the vacated premises. Xoe found herself in a block of what seemed to pass for luxury apartments. As she opened door after door and poked her head inside, she began to realize just what sort of luxury was on offer here...

Rented luxury.

The kind of luxury that came with a feather boa, a length of silken rope and a pair of assless chaps. There was enough potpourri on boil here to make a skunk blush. There were more small, rubber items here than in that closet Xeno most hilariously fell into in the Temple of Time. And of course, there were records. Financial records. Details. Names. Credit parchment numbers.

Xoe scooped up the most damning (and profitable) documents, put her mark on the door of the most well-fitted corner apartment and headed outside. She didn't like leaving her brother alone too long in deserted towns. It almost never came to any good.