Episodes 16 & 17: The Battle Begins.. and Ends

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. But even worser still were the die rolls, improbable plans and accidental disintegrations that threatened to thwart Der Mobiles defence of Aquae Sulis. For even as the Tootlers marched into the center of the city, Iryien's charges were unleashed on the plumbing of the poor defenseless spa town; before long, Yon Steaming Puddle was formed - a steaming pool of dubious wetness that threatened the balance of the battle.

Next, Der Mobile was launched into the fray - and while crossbow bolts missed everything in sight, dropping kettles of hardened pitch turned out to be the ship's most effective means of harassing the enemy.

And on top of all that, every third member of Der Mobile seemed to get himself captured or spirited away to the lair of the Frost Giants. Things were looking grim.

Now, Iryien did now possess the single most destructive piece of alien hardware ever seen in the city, and had the Gods decided to leave her dice alone, she could've ended the battle rather quickly, and single-handedly to boot. But it was not to be, and many Sulians died.

But then something happened to turn the tide on the invaders...

Takemiya decided to teleport the ship.

Suddenly, the invaders were defenders and lost members joined in the fray. Xeno began a campaign of fearsome hamstringing. Saladin began being really nasty to women. And Takemiya turned Der Mobile into a Cuisinart.

By the time Der Mobile had secured the ice cave, help had arrived in the form of a heavily armored Hammership. As Gorth would later relate to the crew of Der Mobile as they combed the beaches for chunks of white dragon blubber, they had arrived at Der Mobile HQ with the recently-refitted Hammer of Grapthar when they were met by a man who introduced himself as a friend of Xoe. He seemed to be expecting them, and hastily explained that he had it from a reliable source that Xoe and her crew were in deep trouble, and that they were to hasten to a rift in a glacier some 50 miles north of a city known as Aquae Sulis. The gentleman gave him explicit directions to the city and produced a letter, written by Xeno, stating that the gentleman was a partner and confederate of Der Mobile's and was to be trusted without question.

Gorth then set off to the rescue, promising bodily harm to the gentleman if his warnings proved false. But in the end, it all worked out - blood was spilled, booty had and everyone was rescued.

Except some of Iryien's Sulians, of course.