Monday, April 29, 2013

Episode 80: Mission Impossible

The dust had barely settled before Xeno was heading down the stairs to recover his hat. He'd worked too long, too hard, and had eviscerated too many giant-kin to let it be lost to Chicken Heart now.  Even as he made his way carefully down the steep and perilous natural stairway he was not troubled by the fact that the thing that currently had his hat was a giant, ravening beast. He also failed to notice that he was descending stairs quite easily, having been transformed by the magical chicken feed into a larger, more humanoid size. And so complete were his thoughts of revenge and recovery that he didn't notice his sister descending the stairs behind him until she's landed in the mud at his feet - concussed, cocooned and strangled by her own garroting wire.

"Where is this mud coming from?" Xeno asked no one in particular. He looked up into what should have been the ceiling of the large subterranean caver. It had begun to rain.

Madmartigan was next down the stairs. "Hey, man, should your like, sister be that, you know, like, blue?" Xeno looked down dispassionately. "Blue. Like she knows what it's like to feel blue. That was my favorite hat."

Madmartigan let the weird wash over him like the cold, dark rain was beginning to, and quickly bent down to undo the wires around Xoe's neck. After a moment he had managed to free her and she seemed to be breathing. 

"Gimme that," Xeno spat, and he hoisted Xoe up in his arms and trudged off in the direction of the chateau that rose out of the forest like a purple mole on the skin of an acquaintance who you'd quietly urge to see a doctor. It's windows were dark. There was a smell of old flowers.

Meanwhile, the monks were having a really bad time. Takemiya had managed to displace himself by about three feet, and when he tried to have the two act independently, he just managed to pull himself over the precipice and into the forest below by a shimmering blue chakra slinky. 

Kobayashi had even less luck. Becoming fed up with his ineffectual nature, he decided to channel a little Xeno and bring some chaos to bear on the situation. Problem is, Xeno isn't so little anymore. So when Kobayashi found out that Billy had a sheet of "Unkle Terd's Hot Pynk Blotter Acid" on him, the monk bade him to ingest it forthwith. The last Kobayashi saw of him was a sparkly streak as Billy leapt into the void. 

Kobayashi then decided to perform a similar leap, gracefully launching himself from the precipice and into a nearby pine tree.

Problem was he failed to launch himself, then missed the tree.

By the time both monks recovered, Billy was seen streaking towards the chateau screaming "I'll fuck anything that moooooooves!"

Later, the party would find his pants.

By the time the rest of the group had gathered itself together and shuffled off to the chateau, most everyone had been brought inside the estate of Jonathan LaFey and his young fiancee, Miriam. There, the butler served up warm tea, scones, and very special pancakes and everyone (apart from Xeno, who lay in the mud, nearly got eaten by Chicken Heart, and gained a very special umbrella) warmed up and was just starting to feel normal again when...

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