Monday, August 20, 2012

Episode 68 Supplemental: So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

Abdullah Faloon was not a forgiving man. He had famously refused to forgive his mother the insult of calling him by his birth name in public. He'd had her flogged, dragged through the streets of Kolinahr by her hair, then locked in a tower until further notice.

He was five years old at the time.

So one shouldn't be surprised to know that no slight, however small, would go unpunished by the longtime Kaliph of Kolinahr.

A medium-sized slight might get your hometown razed to the ground.

A slight large enough that it could no longer be called a 'slight' - well, there are shit-proof fans in the Universe that would put their hands up and say, "Hey, man - you got me" right before perishing in a hailstorm of karmic diarrhea.

It was just this sort of 'significant' that was done to Abdullah Faloon by a pint-sized swindler in the  high-stakes casino known as 'The Gilded Thong'. The turtle ship wasn't the biggest or fastest ship in his considerable fleet, but it was his favorite. The Jewel in his Crown, if you will. He would hunt the spheres tirelessly until it was his once more and he had that gnome hanging from a spit in his own personal boudoir.

He'd been out of the Rock of Bral two weeks though, and he feared the scent was getting cold.

Then suddenly, as he was peering out into the cold, clear depths of wildspace, a strange, green vortex of scintillating light appeared forward of the dolphinship. And what should come streaking out of the spiral of chaotic mass but the familiar form of his beloved turtle ship...


The Battledjinn leapt up to the Kaliph's dais from his Lurking Station and cried out with great animation:  "Most Glorious and Ever-Powerful Kaliph of the Skies - Most Virile Oak of the Kolinian Soil - the turtle ship! It has appeared to us in the most curious fashion... What do you wish us to do?"

The great Kaliph dropped the sticky cluster of figs he'd been thoughtfully chewing and, wiping his tacky fingers on the expensive silken pantaloons of a nearby slave girl, he stalked purposefully toward the forward viewing screen, never for a second taking his eyes off of the miraculous vision that had appeared so improbably before him...

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering turtle; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee..."

The Battledjinn looked uncomfortably to the other functionaries assembled on the dolphin's battle deck. One didn't rise to prominence in the Kaliph's space armada by readily volunteering advice at crucial moments, especially when the Kaliph got 'the gleam' in his eye. The Battledjinn cursed under his breath.

"You... want... we should attack, O Great One?"

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