Thursday, September 28, 2017

[unpUbIi$Hed n0tE$ #4}

Ep 110

“I hate to have to kill you.”
“I hate to have to die.”


NOT FIRE CONDITION
LOSE GLASSES!
Dark Tower Outline
• 331-ton obelisk at Saint Peter's Square
• Walled Obelisk, Hippodrome of Constantinople
“Evil has always been fond of the obelisk. It’s indicative of the Industrial Phallic Complex.”
“Your penchant for chaos has kept you alive - until now.”

• Unctious/Kissyface
• LeSBians
• Temple of Elemental Evil
• Xoe-in-the-past




Karl
DTA
Kate
David
Alex
Josh

Episode 111: So Long, Farewell, Amen.

As everyone gathered on the ground around David, the wind finally began to pick up. Karl offered his hand to DTA who took it with a wince and allowed himself to be hoisted into a generally upright position. He gingerly brushed himself off and turned to David, not without a stifled groan.
   "Were you really going to fire that thing?" David bowed slightly, put his palms together and closed his eyes as he often did while speaking profundities.
   "Were you going to fire yours?" A couple of the others tittered into the backs of their hands,




David rolls 30 to hit Loca. Skulls him with a drop-forged wrench.


Circle stays together, Matt farts
Matt chooses 17


the circling wolves, chains.
Light tap on head and crumble.
Sweet release.

scragament 97: The Eventuality Prism

Xeno looked down at his wavering, transparent body. It was not at all what he expected to see. Ghost, he could handle. Tall, he had rather grown accustomed to of late. But githzerai, well - that was not at all what he was prepared for or willing to deal with.

"Why aren't you a gnome?" asked Kobayashi - who was looking a whole lot more solid - in fact, was the solidist, realest person in the group right now. Xeno felt a supreme peeve building up. Not only did he hate not having an answer for the dead monk, but even more than that he hated not having an answer for himself.

"I don't know, CHAOS??" He hoped that would mollify him. For the time being, it did.

Gigamesh turned the Crimson Tzar's tsotchke over and over in his hands. The porcelain bluebird looked mass-produced, and even for that fact, it looked a little sloppy. Why did it prey on his mind so? What the hell was it supposed to be? The Bluebird of Happiness? Ironic, that; he hadn't been happy in quite some time. Certainly not since they came to this place, not since Xeno's little 'accident'- and how could he continue to call it an 'accident' with a straight face?

Rodant was recounting every last detail of his incarceration, including the dubious details of how he had 'wrestled three guards to the floor before the fourth one got' him. Unlikely story, especially in this annoyingly law-abiding plane. He more likely succumbed to the tidal wave of paperwork that accompanied his arrest than any guards using physical. force.

They were approaching the three ships now, and Gigamesh looked up from the clay bird to see Xoe looking down from the deck of her ship - the one they called Dashiell - with a look of rare concern on her face.

"Hey guys. Is my brother with you?"
"Yes. I'm right here in fact."
"Sorry, you're a bit... transparent."
'That's nothing compared to how I feel..."
"Anyway, there's someone up here who's asking for you."
"Someone who can maybe tell me how to not be dead?"
"Well, no. A mind flayer. A really old one."
"Oh. Great."

Xeno climbed the rope ladder Xoe had lowered for the others. He may have been non-corporeal, but it didn't mean he had to act non-corporeal. He had always been able to affect his reality by doggedly denying it. Perhaps this was just another example. The others followed him up.

When he reached the deck, Xoe looked in her brother's non-corporeal eyes with a mix of confusion and even more confusion.

"Wait a minute... Why are you a githzerai?" Underneath the unfamiliar and unsettling visage of githzeraishness and ghostitude, a familiar, frenetic look passed over her brother's face. So much had happened in the last few hours. What the hells had he done now that even in death things were screwed up? He pushed past her in a huff of agitation and undeath.

"What does he want? How does he know bout me?'
"He didn't say," she half whispered, turning to follow him. "When Dashiell kicked him out of the lifejammer, he sort of started to weep, beating his fists on the floor and sobbing your name. It took us a while to get up the courage to ask him what was wrong..."

Xeno made his way to a room off the bridge. In it, a low palette held what appeared to be a sour, wizened illithid. Two rheumy eyes floated damply above a number of cracked, dry tentacles. They quivered in agitation when the group entered the room.

"What's this?" the old brain-sucker hissed at Xoe. "Where's Xeno?"
"I am here. Who dare asks?" The mind flayer looked nonplussed, which, if we were scoring on merit, nonplussing a mind flayer would be worth like, ten thousand points...
"Wait a minute... Why are you a githzerai?"









xeno challenges bergenheis
dodgeball chaos mushrooms
bob
Spencer tries to strike and is frozen
kobayashi strikes and wins ff/gun/squirrel
meet Clavdivs and are confused
back to MindFlayer
amulet
Gigamesh

[unpUbIi$Hed n0tE$ #2}

In what could easily have been the worst moment of the campaign to date, Eric finds himself talking to Bob Marley after devouring an entire plateful of mushrooms.

The walls of the Sulian cavern were thick with iridescent moss and weighty expectations as Eric was afforded this one opportunity to speak with one of the Many Faces of God.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, MON?" His voice boomed as if through 1,000 really good amplifiers. Eric quavered. Alex chuckled. David knew it was all about to go to shit.

“Your mind is working at its best when you're being paranoid.

You explore every avenue and possibility of your situation
at high speed with total clarity.” 


Oddly enough, Eric rose to the occasion. "Where am I supposed to go next?"

Clear.

Concise.

Not at all what I expected.

(rolls)

(damn)

Suddenly, Bob grew in size, up up up
HOUSE OF GOD from Big Bob WEST, OVER THE BRIDGE OF TIME
Alex- FIRST TIMEFURCATION???
cavern
stalagtites fall WHY?
Earthquake
Xeno hat
Saladin crush but stays together
Take regains consciousness - sense evil flowing West finds shelter
Eric - trippin ballz
Ragnar safely negotiates the slide
Xoe helps drag E to teh Big Vagina
Rosy light
Rag - senses tunnel, down wet warm. River/island, isdland/river
Santaigo. Cigars and ancient dead whale
"Last one in;s a rotten egg!"
Sploosh, sink, BLUB.
Xoe throws in knife, Loca'luongo emerges
Xeno tries to bugger him
EVERYONE SEES
Pitooey
Xeno explores stone tunnel, rolls 30.
Culvert out to route 279. Everyone real again.

[unpUbIi$Hed n0tE$ #1}






Thor busts in
Heading into star
Blonde valkryie entraps Alex rolls 30 she becomes Devoted
He is sitting on the couch when Porthos moves in, passes him a joint; passes to Athos, "tell me about that hill, Eldritch Mountain."
Xeno walks in, fuuu-
"We're here Xeno, and they say it was only 6 hours ago."
They decide to head to Mysty's (at Xeno's behest.) It's Xoe's night to work - Xeno takes a left to the oIron Stoat. They pass under a branches and X is attacked by Candycorn Ninja. He counterattacks and misses. Twice. Badly.
She hops down, Holth approaches and gets thigh-sphyxiated.
Aramis hits her with a sock full of nickels. She goes down in a spray of teeth and mascara.

He now heads into the gym. He's following Ray Charles, who overteps a couple.
Xeno heads out front, rolls a 3.
Is attackey by Nimoy - desks him on 3rd try. Tackles him over the desk, discovers he's Funduds - gets trhown to the wall, LN disaps. Piano ensues.
Kobayashi sees Neitschke and Mancini. He investigates the dead Korean.
Gigamesh follows Ray Charles (first right).
Philo takes second right, finds Cindy Brady, smokes her up.
Xoe decides to "walk through a Door". Walks between Robby's legs. Smells the enchanted Musk on Man-Funk. Xoe sees the wall of fire, ship heading into the sun.
Cosmic bead curtain.
Velvet curtains of the night and stars.
And Elven Fleet.
Ben gives schpiel: "The past that never was."
500 ships, invasion on last legs. Waited 2 weeks to see if deserved conquering, but alas, Xeno tool keft turn and stayed out of space, preventing invasion.

Crash land turtle ship on icy cricket pitch. Invited nback to meet Bob, Philo tkes huge mouthful of shrooms of silver platter from painted boy and sees Bob MaRLey who asks: "What do you want, man?"

The fate of the entire campaign rests in his hands.